Life is Fragile

Yesterday I had to save my child's life. It was the most scary thing I have ever had to do. I am still numb with shock and can cry at the drop of a hat because I cannot believe it happened.

Nicholas had just woken up from his afternoon nap and I suctioned him quickly, buckled him into his car seat, put Ella in the car, and began driving the six miles across town to pick Jeff up after his first day of work (he carpools). On our drive, Nicholas was coughing a little bit and I felt very guilty that I hadn't taken more time to suction him. He looked uncomfortable and tired, which is unusual for him because he loves to ride in the car. His car seat is behind my seat so I can keep an eye on him in the rear view mirror at all times while I am driving. As we drove through town, his coughing got worse and I kept talking to him to try to soothe him and to see if he was okay. Just as we were about to make a left-hand turn into the Shell Station where Jeff was waiting for us my son stopped breathing. His eyes were wide and panicked. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Breathe, buddy, breathe!"

It was 5:00 p.m. and there were dozens of cars zooming past us. I couldn't make a left turn. My son couldn't breathe. I put my car in park in the turn lane, unbuckled Nicholas from his car seat and pulled him from the car, saw that his lips were starting to turn a purplish-blue. I cleared his airway with my finger, turned him upside-down and swept his airway again (and this time cleared a large amount of mucus), saw that he was still not breathing, and laid him down on the drivers seat to administer CPR. I gave him one huge breath, checked for breathing, swept his airway again, and gave him another huge breath. After I gave him the second breath, he began to cry and breathe on his own again. I scooped him up and held him close to me and sobbed. By this time, a woman across from us in her car, who was taking a right-hand turn, started yelling, "Are you okay? Can I help you?" I told her my son stopped breathing and that now he was fine and I was going to cross the street and pick-up my husband. I put Nicholas back into his car seat and drove to get Jeff.

As soon as I saw my husband, I lost it. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Jeff got Nicholas out of the back of the car and held him in his arms the six miles back to our house.

As we were driving home I realized that no one stopped to help us. No one stopped to make sure we were okay. The only person who seemed concerned at all was the woman across the street. At one point there was a car that pulled up behind me to take a left turn, and they just went around us. Now, this whole situation only lasted a couple of minutes, and it was dark so passerbys couldn't really see what was going on, but it left me with a sense that others just don't take time to care. People are so busy in the mundane tasks of everyday life, that they cannot see that a child almost lost his life last night. It made me feel really, truly alone.

Nicholas is fine now. We brought him home after that scare and gave him what we call a treatment, his respiratory therapy, to clear out the rest of his secretions. He spent the rest of the evening watching his favorite cartoons, talking, and playing like nothing eventful had happened at all. Jeff and I kept hugging and kissing him all night and are so thankful he is still here with us. It make us realize that

life

is

fragile

We don't know how much time Nicholas has, or how much time any of us has, for that matter. It makes us remember that we should live each day to the fullest. We need to tell our friends and family how much we love them, how important they are to us. Every moment with our son is so special and we are so glad we will continue to have many more moments with him.