Baby Belly

Here's a photo of me almost 24 weeks pregnant with baby Ella...about 115 days to go!

Nicholas Turns Two!

Morning time in mama's bed...playing and watching cartoons


First time at library story time. Nicholas really enjoyed it. They sang "happy birthday" to him at the beginning of class, then we read stories, did finger plays and songs, and Nicholas especially enjoyed the bubble machine.

After the library Nicholas helped mama run a few errands...and the rain missed us, which made getting in and out much easier!

One of our errands was picking up this "birthday boy" tee shirt because it's always important for every one you see to know you're celebrating your second birthday!

After nap time, Nicholas enjoyed playing with toys and watching a few more cartoons...

while mommy made his yummy birthday cake!

Gramme and Grandpa brought over some pizza for dinner so they could celebrate with us

After dinner Nicholas enjoyed opening his gifts from mommy and daddy. The theme this year was balls. He got a large bouncy ball, several small balls he can hold in his hands, a couple squishy balls, a football, and a ball with big holes in it so it's easy to grab. Every time he opened a new one he would exclaim, "Ball!" with lots of excitement. He's an easy kid to please!

He also got some tee shirts and socks since he has a bazillion pairs of pants but not too many tops!
After dinner we ate cake and try as he might...

he couldn't quite blow his candle out so mommy had to help him.

Yum...cake!

After cake was bath time and a bit of cuddle time with daddy and mommy before bed. I think our little man had a fantastic day!

When Nicholas was diagnosed with SMA in April 2009 Jeff and I worried that he might not ever see his second birthday. Today we feel so blessed to have our sweet little man in our lives and we treasure every day with him. This birthday is just a reminder to us that life is so precious and so fragile and we pray that Nicholas will get to see many, many more birthdays in his life.

Mommy and daddy love you to the moon and back buddy! Happy 2nd birthday!

New With Nicholas

I am so happy that Nicholas's appetite seems to be returning! After a few weeks of drinking only Pediasure smoothies (blended with vanilla ice-cream) and eating only one meal a day, today our little guy ate a whole bowl of oatmeal for breakfast along with a sippy cup of Pediasure and two fish sticks, shredded cheese, yogurt, and juice for lunch. Hopefully he will eat dinner just as well. Jeff and I were starting to get worried about his eating habits, so after speaking with his nutritionist we decided to order Kids Boost Essentials which is similar to Pediasure but with triple the calories. It is the same stuff he would be fed through a feeding tube, if he had one. We should receive it by next week and we will be adding that to his diet instead of the Pediasure. We pray that he continues to eat full meals and starts to gain some weight. Yesterday, Nicholas received an early birthday present from his Godmother, Lyndsey. She sent him an electronic Thomas the train set and he loves it!
When I laid him next to it to watch it go around the track he said, "Wow!" and started making train sounds-"Choo-choo," as it went 'round and 'round. Thanks for such a great gift, L! I think you can tell by his expression in the photo how much he loves it.

Another new thing is the wrist supports Nicholas received a couple weeks ago. His wrists are very floppy so the supports help give him stability when he is doing various activities. For example, today when he was reading a book, it was easier for him to turn the pages and move his hands to touch the pictures on each page. They also help him to play with many of his toys since his fingers are free, but his wrists are supported.

Next Thursday our little guy will turn two years-old. I am so thrilled to see him celebrate this birthday. When he was diagnosed at ten months we were not sure that he would live long enough to see his second year of life. We are so blessed that he has made it this far and are so happy to see him thriving with such a devastating disease. Thank you for all your prayers, constant support, and words of encouragement.

We love you so very much, our sweet little boy!

A Day for Moms

A gift for my mom...a coffee gift basket full of her favorite things. Plus she and my dad came over to our house for dinner on Sunday night. I cooked pork chops, mashed potatoes & gravy, asparagus, and salad. I realized that it was the first time I had made dinner for my mom on mother's day and she loved it so much! This is a beautiful hanging basket that my mom bought me for mother's day. It is hanging from the wooden beam that covers our patio and every time I look out the window it makes me smile.
Before dinner Gramme gave Nicholas some love.

This little boy is the reason I get to celebrate this wonderful day for moms. He is the joy of my heart and brightens every day with his adorable smile.

Jeff did some really nice things for me on Mother's day as well. He finished working on our leaky bathroom sink, planted some plants in the yard, washed my car, mowed and edged the lawn, and made me breakfast. He checked several things off of the "honey-do" list which truly made my day!

I feel like such a lucky mom.

Turning 30

Today I turned the big 3-0.

It was a great day filled with loved ones, yummy food, presents, and a bit of shopping.

My mom took Nicholas and I shopping in the morning and she bought me some maternity jammies and sleeping bras both of which were much needed and then we had a nice lunch at Claim Jumpers. When we got home I put Nicholas down for his afternoon nap and enjoyed catching up on the DVR. I even got to sneak in a short nap before Nicholas woke up. When Jeff got home we played a few games of Tetris on the Wii and I used my lovely hot pink controller that Jeff bought me. Later in the evening we went to Eastland Sushi for dinner with may parents, my brother, Eric, and his girlfriend, Tina. Eric and Jeff ordered sushi and the rest of us enjoyed some Cantonese cuisine. Later that night Jeff gave Nicholas a bath and put him to bed so I could squeeze in a quick workout. All in all it was a wonderful day!

I am really looking forward to my 30's and happy to say good-bye to my 20's. Here are some things I am looking forward to in the next decade of my life:

• Getting out of debt


• Buying a minivan for our growing family and Nicholas's power chair


• A treatment and/or cure for SMA


• Meeting baby Ella and watching her grow


• The economy to turn around


• Traveling with my family-next trip will be Disneyland in June!


• Cultivating the friendships that I have now and making new friends along the way


• Growing older and wiser with my husband and celebrating both our 5 and 10 year anniversaries

I think my 30's are going to be some of the best years yet!

Injustice

Tonight as I was checking my facebook before bed, I saw that a friend had joined a group against child abuse and the photo for that group was a picture of a little girl around the same age as Nicholas with her face all scratched and beat up with a black eye sucking on a pacifier.

It made me cry.

It made me angry. REALLY angry.

I saw a video several months back on the same website about a 6 month-old baby girl who suffered horrendous abuse before dying at the hands of her abusive parents.

The images have never left my mind. Not a day has passed that I have not thought about and prayed for these little angels who don't know love. It truly breaks my heart that children suffer so much when they are so vulnerable.

It is intolerable.

It is cruel.

It is heartless.

I know that I am being called to do something for these kids, but I don't know what it is. I have been praying and contemplating what it is that I can do to help these innocent lives but I don't have any answers. All I know is that my heart breaks every single time I think about this and I just feel as if I want to scream. I want to hurt the child abusers and make them suffer the way these children have.

If anyone has any suggestions of ways I can help (big or small) please let me know. At this point I feel so helpless that this injustice is going on in a world where I live and I just know I have to do something. Here I am trying to save my little boy from an incurable disease while perfectly healthy, beautiful children are being tortured at the hands of their abusers. It's not okay and I will not tolerate it.

Baby Is Named

Jeff and I finally decided on the name for our baby girl. We both spent several weeks discussing names we like, but I kept feeling like her name was suppose to start with a vowel so I looked at all the A names I could find, then E names, but didn't spend a lot of time on I, O, or U names because when I saw the name Ella, I just knew it was the right name for our little girl. Ella means torch or bright light and it just seems so appropriate since this little healthy baby girl is a light shining in our hearts. My grandmother also shared that Ella was the name of my grandfather's mother, so I knew it was perfect since Jeff and I both love the history and tradition of family names.

When we started discussing middle names Jeff immediately said he wanted Elizabeth after his grandmother, and while I LOVE the name Elizabeth, I didn't immediately like the sound of Ella Elizabeth-because of the alliteration of the two E's together, so we decided to think about it for a few weeks. I really wanted her middle name to be either Rose after my mom's middle name or Grace because I feel it is because of God's grace that she will be joining our family in a few months. I decided to google the name Ella to see if there are any Catholic saints with that name and to my surprise there is one: St. Ella of Russia. Her first name was Elizabeth but she was called Ella. I explained this to Jeff, so he said, "Why don't we name her Elizabeth Rose and call her Ella."

"Genius!" I said. "I love it!" So her name will be...

Elizabeth (Ella) Rose Gustafson