Sickly Nicholas

The photo above shows a less ill Nicholas with a big smile on his face. The bottom one shows a much weaker, much sicker little boy. It breaks my heart. 

Combined Nicholas has been sick for approximately eight weeks. That's two full months. It's the longest he has ever had to endure such a plague of yuck. 

The first several weeks he would have a day or two that he requested his bi-pap for extra breathing support but most of the other days were normal, typical days for him. But last week things really took a dangerous turn when I returned from my California trip with a nasty virus, that I assume I passed on to Nicholas. With his immune system already weakened by another virus, this second virus did a number on his system. 

He has extra secretions, is coughing, and is complaining of aches and pains.We took him to the doctor last Friday and apparently he doesn't have anything that can be fixed with antibiotics so we are just doing respiratory treatments every 2-4 hours and trying to get as much crud out of him as possible. He's on 2-3 liters of oxygen, sleeping most of day and night, on a modified formula mix, and fighting every step of the way. Honestly, when any child is sick, a parent's heart breaks a little, as we would instantly trade their pain for our own. But when a child who already endures so much pain and suffering daily, this just adds to the utter despair of feeling completely helpless in trying to help him feel better as quickly as possible. 

Now we are focused on keeping him out of the PICU if possible and praying that he can show signs of improvement in the week ahead. We have one tough little cookie on our hands and despite how crappy he feels, he told me he loved me today and that, my friends, is what this is all about anyway.