Mother's Day, Minus One

This year's Mother's Day was the first one in almost seven years where I was only able to celebrate with one child. I was emotional all day and really missed Nicholas. We started the day off with mass and I was crying through the whole thing. I just couldn't keep myself composed. Every song, every prayer, the homily about love, really everything moved me to tears and I truly needed to cry. For the past couple of months I have been pushing down my emotions, my sadness, and it honestly felt good to let some of it go. By the time we arrived at the restaurant to eat brunch with my family, I felt better. We dined with my mom and my sister-in-law and I was spoiled with some herbs and flowers for our yard. After brunch we took the girls to pay at the park and they had a great time. Later in the day we went to Jeff's sister's home for dinner with his mom. All in all, it was a good day, a day to celebrate moms everywhere, but one that held sadness for me. To not get to see my son's smile, to not feel his love on that day, was very difficult. After all, he made me a mom. Before Nicholas was born I was just another woman, a wife, a daughter, a friend. I only earned the title "Mom" because of him.