My 35th Birthday

I turned thirty-five on May 4th which seems impossible since I feel like my teenage years weren't too long ago. We had a low-key celebration at Skamania Lodge celebrating both my and my sister-in-law, Tina's birthdays because our birthdays are only a couple of days apart, with hers falling on April 30th. We enjoyed a delicious meal and my husband surprised me with some adorable Nikes so I can start running again. When you turn thirty-five, exercise becomes less of a "whenever I feel like it" activity into a "necessary if I want ever eat again AND to fit into my existing wardrobe." The dinner celebration started the day before my actual birthday, so on my day I enjoyed lunch out, some shopping, and a pedicure with my mini...all the fixings for a fabulous day.

As with any special occasion, I miss Nicholas profoundly and think about him more than ever. On my birthday I spent much of the day reminiscing about the birthday when I turned twenty-eight, seven years ago. I was very pregnant with Nicholas, as he was born just sixteen days later, and I my belly was swollen and huge, my feet very sore, and my heart ready to meet our son. I think it was on that day that I truly became a mom, as I recall not really concerned with my special day, but felt more anxious to get through the next couple of weeks and finally meet our child. I was already mentally putting our son first and putting myself on the back burner, like so many moms do everyday without realizing it. I only got to celebrate five birthdays with my son, but they remain the most treasured birthdays in my heart. I can almost hear Nicholas say, "Happy birthday, Mom. I love you."